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scarletdahlia

I am a Fraud ~ I Think

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I have a truth to tell. I am a fraud. Or at least I feel that I am one. I am not always good at being Sir’s submissive. I am not always good at following rules. And sometimes, I am just a downright pain in His butt.

It is a hard place to be. Giving advice and trying to help others. I live in this fear that someone will expose me as the fraud I believe I am.  I am not a fraud of course. I am just a woman who is trying to do her best to be who she is. I am trying to serve my Sir.

I like to think that Sir and I are approachable because we are honest in who we are. And because we let you see it all, good and bad. I am the first to admit to making mistakes as His submissive. And He will tell you straight up that He is not always the best or most diligent Dominant. But we let you see it. You never feel like a failure. You never feel alone because we have been there too. We are just not afraid to say it.

But when we are so honest I sometimes think that we are not good enough or experienced enough to give anyone direction at all. I think it is just luck that we got to where we are. I never intended our page or my blog to be anything more than just a place for me to write.

I do not regret what we have become. We have a wonderful following. The people who follow us have grown organically. They came to us be way of others who found us. That is the sincerest form of praise. For that I thank you.

I know so many of us think we are just in the right place at the right time. That it was not our time, our talents, our experiences, or knowledge that got us where we are. It is luck or charm or the ability to fake it that got you there. I am letting go of that. I am going to believe that I am good at what I do. That my lessons in submission have helped others. That my journey into this life can help someone else find theirs.

We all feel like frauds. But failure does not make you a fraud. It makes you someone who has gone through the fire and come out better. And that is the person I want to be. Better.